Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
