I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
