In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize