R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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