Where did you get a picture of my penis
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
