two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
