o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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