i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize