She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
