Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
