1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
