glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
