How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
