I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize