I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
