I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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