i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
