With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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