I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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