if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's rum buckets o'clock
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
