dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
