Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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