look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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