we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
