I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize