I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
