You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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