fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
