I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
