If that was your dad, he is hot
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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