where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
