The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
