I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize