North Korea, Best Korea!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
