clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
