I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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