small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
