well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
40s are totally the cure
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
