Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
