god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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