Its about making memories worth repressing
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
