I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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