Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
God, I missed his penis.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize