HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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