I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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