I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
