So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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