It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize