I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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