Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
