see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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