he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
