Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
