Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
