So drunk its hurt
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
