Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
