This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i dont even know how to be here
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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