Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
