the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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