remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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